11 March 2010

The Secret in Their Eyes / El Secreto de sus ojos (Juan José Campanella, 2009)

I can't think of how to describe my reaction to this movie without using a string of strong epithets. I mean, seriously. This movie is BAD. Really bad. It's kind of like Law & Order: Criminal Intent but with even worse writing. Every single review I've been able to find of this movie online is extremely positive (even the review at Variety is glowing!) and refers to this movie as an exciting, romantic thriller. Um, okay. I don't think I'm giving too much away here by saying that the bad guy is pinpointed by the cop based on his eyes in some old pictures in some old scrapbook of the victim. And then the big insight as to how they'll catch the guy? He likes soccer. Yes, in Argentina, he likes soccer. They may as well have had the entire male population do a lineup for Jesus fuck's sake. But that's not all. I don't want to imply that this is just a police procedural. It's much more meandering and half-baked than all that. The protagonist is in love with his boss. I promise you that although this element of the film may intermittently seem like it has the potential to finally get interesting, it really doesn't. I feel like, if you're living in a retirement home and feeling nostalgic for the good old days when things were easy and you didn't have to think about things to know what was what, then you might like this movie. Otherwise, aside from a few competent camera shots, there is nothing interesting about this movie. I'm really appalled that this movie was shortlisted for the foreign film Oscar, let alone that it won! I mean, we all know that the Academy is composed of a bunch of idiots for the most part but who the hell was on the foreign film panel that thought this was worthy of being shortlisted, let alone being an actual nominee?!?!?! That is some fucking bullshit. So you have an empty plodding thud of a film beating out such outstanding films as A Prophet, The White Ribbon, Ajami, and The Milk of Sorrow. Wow. Fucking disgusting. Things like this make me hate this culture. I'm not even sure I care to find out what the hell is wrong with Americans that this is the kind of shit they like. It sort of amuses me that the Oscars and the Spirit awards were no better (and is many cases worse) than the Golden Globes this year. This movie is puke and not worth your time, if you have a brain, but watch it for yourself and let me know. F

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